Buhtt sex?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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