My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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