I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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