i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
