Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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