is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
