Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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