question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
