Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
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Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
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There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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