...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
