For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
