drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
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