you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
