Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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