i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
