i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
