Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
