nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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