So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
