It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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