you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
