Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
