I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
