i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
