Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Pappa wants mamma naked
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My ass is underappreciated
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
