You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
