My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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