He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
