walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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