If i come over, it means nothing
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
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Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
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I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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