Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
