I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize