oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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