Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
