She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
