he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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