Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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