Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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