took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize