She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
