This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
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Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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