Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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