my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
