Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
