That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
