..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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