There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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