I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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