don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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