She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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