...so i touched it.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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