Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
