i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
