so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
