News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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