My first STD was from a foam party
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
