This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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