So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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