I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize