It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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