yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
