well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
