Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize