i just had sex bonerless
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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