thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
